Citygrrrl

straight ,great looking hung top need draining - 19 (gresham)

hung great shape work out need a hot ass to come bend over and rub this big package on that bubble but im fve ten one eighty need you to come to me ill host love tg cd or just soft lips on me hit me up im for real tonight

“Straight?”  Yeah right.  Silly boy.  The gay men’s ads are quite a bit different from the straight men’s ads.  The gay men are apparently not so much using craigslist to find a love connection.  99% of them are cruising for casual sex.  I suspect the straight men are too, but the gay boys are honest about it. 

He has an interesting question.

just a question for women - 30 (pdx)

ok, I need the advice of some single women looking for happy commited long term relationships. I have tried posting this in a the rants section and I usually just get mean people saying evil things to me. I figured I would post it where the woman are that I want answers from.

So my question/situation is that I find myself in my early 30’s with little to no relationship experience. I was hurt badly by someone i cared a great deal for around 20 and for a long time it made me overly cautious about giving my heart to another. I burried myself in my work and friends and travel and got over the pain but found myself kinda perma-single over the years. I guess what I want to know is how bad this looks to a woman. I know I am a loving giving man and I know that I want happiness and family and true intimacy with a best friend, but I feel like I did when I went to buy my first car. They told me that I couldnt get the credit to buy the car because I had no credit because no one had given me credit because I had no credit so therefore I couldnt get any credit. So I find myself a decade later still single and the last time I told a potential prospect that I had been single for the better part of a decade, she went running like I had just told her I was a serial killer. I guess what I’m asking is, is there hope for the guy with no “relationship credit”? Is an unexperienced man really that scary to you? Is there some base instinct that being single for this long sets off? I would appreciate any and all constructive advice or thoughts, thank you and please enjoy the cookies

I think I would feel a little leery of dating a guy who had been single for a decade. I don’t think it would be a deal breaker though.  Who knows what else is going with this guy. If he presents himself as damaged, he’s going to have a tough time of it I think.

I just had to do another one because this could not be passed up!

I’m Big Bob and I Want You - 55

Hello Ladies - I’ve just arrived in town from my desert mining camp in Arizona and I’m a gonna bust down some doors to get at you. I haven’t been with a woman since I started out from Tucson. That was two years ago and I seen nothing but spiders and scorpions amidst the rock and cactus.

I’m a lookin for a warm blooded woman critter that’s interested in exploring the beautiful desert. I make no promises - we might strike it rich or you go home without a cent - but I guarantee you that you’ll have memories to tell your grandkids.

So if you’re tired of this here Oregon sunshine then pack your suitcase and grab a shovel - and put your trust in Big Bob. I’m a wantin you.

All I can say is, “Wow.”

Marry Virgin over 40 - 54

Many women with pride are saying: “I have never been marry”. But … with how many men they had sex with? Result: sexual transmitted diseases, many children have no dads. Many children are born premature and have mental and physical disabilities. The Real Man will NOT marry this trash.
I proud myself and don’t want to satisfy a woman who does not deserve it. I’m, single middle age honest man, have no medical problems, have a lot energy and looking for a treasure - a healthy single virgin lady over 40, one - man woman. Prefer atheist, Jewish, Mormon, Christian or etc.
I know, many women hate me for this ad and want to “kill” me for this ad, but: it is for educational purpose too and for children: do NOT have sex before marry.
Picture for picture.

Hopeful

I’m thinking this guy is going to be hoping for a long time.  I notice he doesn’t mention whether or not he’s a virgin.  His “Prefer atheist, Jewish, Mormon…” statement is pretty hilarious.  He prefers someone who is either religious or not religious?  That should narrow things down!  Who knew that birth defects were caused by premarital sex?  Well, at least he’s putting it all out there.  “Ask and you shall receive” after all.  I want to know what kind of woman responds to this kind of ad!

He has a good sense of humor!

Insanity: Doing the same thing and expecting different results - 34

This is my 756th post to Craigslist and somehow I remain hopeful that I’ll find that special someone. I am so far gone insane it’s unbelievable. Ok, I lied, this is actually just my 4th post. Maybe 5th, who’s counting?

Well, it’s been quite the interesting journey with this online dating. Yeah. That’s just great. You might not get the humor in this quite yet, but let’s have a couple of drinks and you’ll soon be laughing hysterically. Ha ha thank you. I completely agree. You have no idea what I’m talking about. If you do, I’ll marry you right away. Yes it’s a crazy world out here in cyber-dating land, wouldn’t you say?

Ok, enough of all that. Let me tell you a bit about me. Ok, enough about me. Let’s hear about you. Let me guess. You are between the age of, oh, I don’t know, say 25-37? Perfect! I’m 34. You are intelligent, cute, have a good hip-to-waist ratio (OPB says that’s a good sign of fertility, what do you think about that?), and have a good sense of humor with an appreciation for silly goofiness. Not that I’d ever be silly or goofy, well, maybe just once in a while. I’m smart too, and have been told that I’m cute, but my hip to waist ratio is nothing to write home about. BMI is perfect though at 22.1.

So, I think that about covers it. Points subtracted if you have a personal relationship with Jesus or any other “divine” beings including but not limited to Zeus, Dr. Seuss, Apollo, Duran Duran, Rocky Balboa, or Ralph Nader. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of those characters. Please describe your religion and/or spirituality, if applicable.

Extra extra bonus points if you made it this far reading this. Non-smokers only please. If you smoke and would like help quitting, call 1-800-QUIT-NOW. Have a nice day.

Don’t we all feel this way sometimes?

for sale best offer - 26

For immediate sale, one boyfriend, slightly used. If interested, please inquire. Details below:
Model: Caucasian
Gender: Male
Quantity: 1
Previous Owners: 4
Accessories: no baggage
Status: single
Age: 26
Hair: short dark
Vision: nearsighted, Blue
Special skills: puts toilet seat down after use
Training: self-cleaning, chivalry
Personality: funny, honest
Known defects: none
Runs on: Thai food and hamburgers
Habitat: S.E. Foster
Co-habitation: none (no roommates)
Last rotation: 3 months ago
Compatible with: unknown
Annual checkup: technician’s report: “future outlook is bright”
Known allergies: mildly allergic to cats (goes away after a day)
Finances: low debt, good bank balance
Movies: yes
Dinner: preferably with the opposite sex
TV: only HBO
Cloned: yes
Original model: yes
Languages: English, HTML
Sex: varies
Programmable: yes
Condition: a few dents
Price: best offer

Does the bit about being cloned mean he has a kid?  I’m thinking that would contradict the no baggage claim! 

Some women do like a fixer-upper…

I’m looking for a coach - 34

I am looking for some one who can help me refine
how I present myself in social situations.
I am a shy person. I have been able to get by.
I have been successful in my career and I have my own consulting business, and I have friends.
and I have made a lot of progress over the past year.
But I’m still a piece of work. Sometimes I feel like I just landed
here from outer space.

I wonder if there is someone who could help me to take me to the next level.
I think I need help in these areas:

How to hold myself (posture)
Dressing
Eye contact
How to have conversations (I am horrible at small talk)
My hair
How I dress

I have read lots, I have made a lot of progress trying to change on my own,
I think it would be really helpful to have someone coach me.
I want someone to give me feedback
and point out what I’m doing wrong.
I need to train myself like an athlete, because a lot of this feels
unnatural, I just need to train my body. And if someone could see me objectively
and give me guidance.

Me? Not so much.

Maybe she should start a blog…

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 40

So…..I kinda don’t think that on a first meeting off clist that a man should share a camera phone pic of a womans crotch painted up to look like Homer Simpson.
Confused…..yep, so was I!!! Really happened and it was not an animated pic either.
And then to not quite understand why the invite to go to lunch the next day was a NO, very nice no thank you, but NO!
Anyway, I am never one to give up and now that I have worked up the nerve to go out and meet men I am corresponding with off this site I power on…

 

This one is sweet…

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! - 45

Craig’s List, Thank You!
If it weren’t for CL, would my life be the same? Look the same? Feel the same?

When I needed work, I found it on CL. And I love my job!
When I needed a car, I found one on CL. And I love my car!
When I needed a home, I found one on CL. And I love my home!
When I needed a bed, I found one on CL. And I love my bed!
When I needed someone to share it with me, I found her on CL.
And I love her…

So: THANK YOU, CL, for everything!

This ad accompanied several photos of a decent-looking young man holding a beer. I wonder if he was drinking when he wrote this…

Regular not creepy guy - 19

I’m just a regular guy, not creepy at all. Looking for some good times doing regular things that don’t creep people out, especially not hot girls. I like to go out or stay in, usually drinking, and it would be good if you enjoyed sex as much as I do. No kinky shit, I promise. I will respect your boundaries.
I play music and listen to music, ride a bike, I’m vegetarian, I like to drink, I live with a cute little dog you could play with. He’s rolling around on the couch with me right now! LOL
I also enjoy graffiti art, smoking cigarettes, and drinking.
You are: attractive, not clingy, adventurous, willing to try new things. And you don’t get freaked out easily.
I have athlete’s foot. Just putting it out there.