News From J-, No News From R-

A month or so ago I wrote about going to my friend J-’s bbq. He’s a guy I dated last Fall and stayed friends with after he hooked up with his girlfriend. We enjoy going to shows together and chatting over beer at any number of pubs. I heard from him today for the first time since his party. It seems my e-mail and party invite landed in a folder he doesn’t check very often. This is the problem with sorting e-mails as they come in. He had me labeled as Family, which apparently is a folder mostly full of porn sent by his cousin. Oops.

It was a nice and chatty message. His girlfriend is his girlfriend (you may recall he had trouble introducing her to me) although he’s never sure whether he should say “partner” or not. Hence his hesitation. He also said she knows he’s friends with people he’s dated and that it’s fine. Whew! I feel relieved. I was worried I had offended him.

On another note, R- asked me on Friday what I had going today so I told him my tentative plans and that he was welcome to join me for any of them that sounded interesting. Apparently, none of them sounded interesting because I haven’t heard a word since. This is mostly annoying because I can see that he had time to check his online dating account, but didn’t have time to drop me a line saying, “Thanks but I have other plans” or something to that effect. It just seems kind of rude and dumb. I feel like we’re playing a game and I don’t know the rules. I think curiosity is the only reason I keep playing.

My FWB is Cool

My Friday night ended up being really fun after all.  I went to a hipster art show downtown and then watched a few gut wrenching episodes of Smallville while eating a pint of B&J.  I don’t think I’ve ever eaten an entire pint in one sitting.  My tummy, it’s a’rumbling.  Hopefully the bourbon will help to digest it.  Curdling surely counts towards the digestion process? I guess I’ll find out.

I chatted online with FWB a little bit this afternoon and it got me thinking about him.  He’s a really good kisser.  I also like him.  That’s a tough combination to find so I told him later via e-mail that I was thinking about that fact and that I’m looking forward to seeing him.  He replied that he agrees and is looking forward to seeing me too.  He said he liked the way we hung out before and doesn’t see why that should change.   That works for me and it was a relief to hear it.

It’s funny because, while the sex with him was good, it’s the kissing that I’m really looking forward to.  I’m pretty sure I could kiss him for a couple of hours before I’d have to tear his clothes off.  I may have to test that theory when he gets back.  It’s a nice way to shut off my brain.  Alcohol makes me sick before my brain shuts down.  Passion is much better!

Shot Down!

Aaaaaghhuuummm.  I was shot down by CLG this morning.  He was polite but distant.  No suggestion that we meet some other time.  No date for me tonight!  I hate sitting around on a Friday night.  I may have to bake something ridiculous.  Or, maybe I’ll try to round up a couple of friends for a movie night.

Craigslist Guy Update

I decided to see if CLG wants to go out tomorrow night.  He hasn’t asked me out on a date but I think he might be one of those guys who waits to see if the girl will ask him out after meeting him.  Honestly, I still don’t know how that stuff works. What if both people end up waiting for the other one to ask them out?  Is there a rule of thumb?

I decided, after letting the idea percolate in my brain all week, to ask him out because he seemed like he would be fun to hang out with.  I really have nothing to lose by asking and heck, if he turns me down, he’ll be the first guy not to want to go for a second date.  I think my ego can take the hit!

Single Men and Cats

There’s an existing stereotype in our culture of the lonely old maid with her cats. I believe, at least in Portland, that cats are not just for single women anymore. Every guy I’ve dated in the last two years either has a cat or wants a cat. Some of them have two cats. As a dog person who is allergic to cats, I find myself keeping a ready stash of Claritin in my medicine cabinet so I can hang out with these guys. In the back of my mind, I’m thinking, “I have a dog and you have two cats. How can we possibly ever live together?” It hardly seems rational to shunt someone into the FWB category just because we have different taste in pets!

I brought this topic up with some friends of mine today and one them offered the following analysis of men with cats. Cats are low maintenance creatures whose entire purpose is to love you. Cats offer men the opportunity for unconditional affection without a lot of hassle. The men get to be affectionate and silly without fear of rejection. But, I think that’s why single women have cats too. Anyway, I don’t begrudge my men their cats but I can’t help but groan inside every time I meet someone and it turns out they have a cat. It’d be nice to find a guy with a dog, preferably one who wouldn’t eat my dog, just for the variety.

On the other hand, maybe lots of single men don’t have cats, and it’s simply that I’m attracted to the type of man who likes cats. You’d think they would like me for the same reason they like their cat. I’m cute and fuzzy, I like to be petted and rubbed, I don’t like to be smothered or dominated, I like to do my own thing but don’t mind having him around while I do it, I enjoy silliness and affection, and sometimes I purr.

Craigslist Ad of the Day

Maybe Santa will hook him up…

 I WOULD LIKE A WIFE BY THE END OF THE YEAR. – 56

This is no joke. I am a man with a good income who wished to meet a woman and get married in four months or so. I do no smoke and seldom if ever drink. No drugs.I am open to all races and looking for someone fun.

Word From R-

R- got back with me and suggested we make plans. There was nothing specific though. I told him he should let me know his availability and we’d see if we can make something work. I don’t think it’ll be until next week as I’m already pretty booked. Yes, I do actually do other things besides go on dates! For instance, right now I’m baking cookies. I’d tell you about the other things I do with my free time, besides blog, but then my secret agent status would be revoked. We wouldn’t want that!

I’m thinking that for the times I don’t have much going on the dating front, I’ll do flashbacks to some of my previous experiences with online dating. I’ll make it clear that’s what I’m doing in the title. Stay tuned!

The Reappearance of R-

Huh. I got an e-mail from R- last night commenting on the pictures from the party and asking me to refresh his memory on what bands I want on the mp3 cd he’s burning me. Ahhhhhhh, yeah. Huh? I hear nothing for a week and then this casually chatty e-mail indicating that we’re likely to see each other again? Unless he plans to mail me the cd. I responded with a friendly note in return, reminding him of the band we talked about on one of our dates. I didn’t ask him how he’s been or suggest we get together.

I find him puzzling. I had totally written him off and assumed he had written me off as well. All I can think is that his snarky comments require an equally snarky reply, because I’m sure as hell not going to put up with it otherwise. As for his physical proximity issues, should we ever actually go out again, my plan is to confront them head on and see how he reacts. I suppose this week of non-contact was good in that it allowed me to get my head screwed on a little tighter. I’m curious to see if he replies to my e-mail tonight.

Saturday Drinks with Craigslist Guy

Drinks with CLG went pretty well. He’s a nice Jewish boy from NY. I think I didn’t contact him originally via ConnectWithMe because he’s short. He was cuter than his photos though. He was also fun to talk with. We shared some online dating stories and talked about how we experienced 9/11. At the end I felt like he was in a hurry to leave, and I’m not sure why. I may be too tall for his taste. I think he wants kids, which could also be a deal-breaker. He only recently started dating older women. When I say older, I mean within 8 years. I’m 4 years older than him, which isn’t a big deal in my book, but it might be in his. As I say rather frequently these days, we’ll see.
After the date, I went to a birthday party. When asked why I was getting there so late I told the birthday-boy that I’d had a date over drinks and he said, “Oh yeah? How’d it go? Never mind, you’re here so it couldn’t have been that great.” It was an interesting point. I’m not sure what CLG would have made of this particular group of friends or what they would have made of him. I’ve never brought a date to one of our gatherings. I’m worried that any date I brought would feel like they were under a microscope. These are mostly a group of my guy friends. They all have spouses and significant others but I suspect they would be rather protective of me when it came down to it.

Anyway, I’m off to hang out with my ex husband and his girlfriend. I like my life!

Craigslist Ad of the Day

At least he’s honest…

I like boobs – 35

I’m financially secure, good looking and fun.

Im looknig for a meaningful relationship. Please only reply if you are a woman who is not fat but has big boobs.

or if you have a boat.

with a motor.